I recently began reading the book “Mere Christianity” by C.S. Lewis. Far be it from me to expand on much of what Mr Lewis writes as his gifting and intelligence far surpasses my own. A particular point he made in one of the early chapters caught my eye and it immediately jumped out as an applicable truth to my own life. Mr Lewis, in explaining how sin can exist outside of the will of an all-powerful God gives the following analogy:
“It may be quite sensible for a mother to say to the children, “I’m not going to go and make you tidy the schoolroom every night. You’ve got to learn to keep it tidy on your own.” Then she goes up one night and finds the Teddy bear and the ink and the French Grammar all lying in the grate. That is against her will. She would prefer the children to be tidy. But on the other hand, it is her will which has left the children free to be untidy.”
This, in my opinion, is the best way I have ever heard freewill explained and it makes perfect sense. What amazed me was how closely linked my understanding of God was with my understanding of how I am to behave. As the father of two young children and bungling leader of my household, I struggle with the balance between freedom and law. It has seemed to me that, in order for me to be doing my job correctly, my children WILL obey, they WILL speak nicely and they WILL not wine and scream and cry all day for their mother. In order to enforce this I have struggled with whether or not spanking is appropriate, and have wavered back and forth regarding other forms of punishment. Even more difficult is attempting to lead a household with a competent, intelligent adult partner who has different opinions (often vastly) from mine.
The question: What does it mean to give freedom of choice without compromising?
God does not compromise, and as Hebrews 13:8 says: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.”
His truths do not waiver and his goodness does not fail. So how can a perfect and just God allow the antics that we humans get up to? How can an all-powerful God allow things that are outside of his will? The answer is that he loves us. He loves us so much that he wants us to choose to have a relationship with him and follow his ways. The consequences of sin is death. However, all we need do is ask and our heavenly father forgives us and allows us to enter back into communion with him. So what does that look like? Does God suddenly say, it’s OK that you did those things, just don’t do them again? Does he, in his desire to be accepted by us, compromise? No. That is the perfection of Christianity. God does not compromise, yet he offers forgiveness of sins.
So as a parent, in order to be truly an image of my heavenly father, my role is not to take away the consequences of disobedience or mis-behavior and that may include a separation of sorts (being sent to the room) or other punishment. However, a sincere desire to restore the relationship should be met with love and acceptance. We should be uncompromising when it comes to mis-behavior but quick to forgive. As a husband I am called to love my wife as Christ loves the church, that means not only giving my life for her but allowing her to be my hands and feet; allowing her to do with my name what she will; trusting her with everything.
As may have been revealed in this article, I confess I fall to the sin of being over-controlling and can be the over-bearing husband of any woman’s worst nightmare. I hope that God’s example and my looking to him will change me.
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